Without Pride or Prejudice. Days 9 to 12.
Day 9:
Darcey, Darcey, Darcey!
Nine ladies dancing! Very nice but not exactly Ballet Rambert is it! All that whirling is making my head spin and I haven’t even started drinking YET! Did that Mr Bingley put you up to this! Never trusted him! Bit too posh for my liking! And his sister, what a cow - which reminds me..... we now stand at eight cows, seven swans (still a swimming), six geese, the three calling birds (Papa’s doing his best!)
Love and kisses
Elizabeth
Day 10:
Darcey!
Ten Lords-a-leaping all over the place! Are these your mates Lord Darcey! Trying to prove you’re not Billy-no-mates are you?
“Go off and hang someone you gits!” I shout sweetly from my window. Oh now the maids are being chased by the Lords who have stampeded the cows. Oh what fun! Such times we live in. Well at least they’ve brought some vintage port with them - verwy nithe it ith too.
Just to keep you posted - Papa’s now a bit poorly, so the body count remains the same. He’s said some very unpleasant things about your parentage - my love.
Love and kisses
Elizabeth
Day 11:
MISTER DARCEY!
Eleven pipers piping have rocked up, saying YOU sent them. Ooooh my head! What a racket! I hate you! Is it your intention to drive me nuts! The only peace I get is when the pipers disappear off with the maids - leaving your intended to look after the cows, the swans, the geese, the four calling birds, the one French hen (thanks Papa!)
Lord knows what the Lords are up to. Oh now there’s a fight going on between the pipers and the Lords, oh and now the maids have joined in! This is better than Little Women!
Where’s that bottle of port? Found it! Things are looking up!
Love and kisses
Elizabeth
Day 12:
Dear whoever you are,
12 drummers drumming - where are this lot from? Bernard Matthews! They’ve woken up the whole neighbourhood who think we’re being invaded.
This Christmas is turning into a complete fiction.
Don’t suppose you’d think about revisiting gift No5?
On the plus side, Papa is ecstatic, thinks he’s invented a new protein based diet and I’ve decided to be generous and charitable and give away your marvelous presents to a good cause - Mr Whickham’s Home for Distressed Ladies. My sister Lydia recommended him. Apparently he’s been a bit of a runaway success.
It’s Christmas Darcey. Have a good one!
Love and kisses
Miss Elizabeth Bennett - gone away
Wishing you a happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
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